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Thread: Skoon Grappies - Want ons moet lag ook.

  1. #11
    Jannie in die TRONK
    Koos van der Merwe and Zuma entered a chocolate shop
    As they were busy looking around, Zuma stole 3 chocolate bars.
    As they left the store, Zuma said to Van
    "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that.
    Van replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you some real stealing."
    So they went up to the counter and Van der Merwe said to the shopkeeper:
    "Do you want to see some real magic, man ?"
    The shopkeeper replied: "Yes."
    Van said: "Give me one chocolate bar."
    The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it.
    Van asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well.
    He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
    The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic?"

    Van der Merwe replied:

    "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."

    You just CAN'T beat a BOER !!

  2. #12

    Ons nuwe Onafhanklike Hoof van Polisie Inspektoraad: CV

    A short biography of Robert McBride, the man who’s going to "watch" the police:

    Born 6 July 1963
    Place of birth - Addington Hospital
    Hometown - Wentworth, Durban.
    Schools - Fairvale High School
    Interesting fact - Knows martial arts.

    Early influences:

    A. J. Venter’s Coloured and Soledad Brothers.
    The Prison.
    Letters of George Jackson.

    Military background:

    Member of Umkhonto We Sizwe.
    1986 Bombed a restaurant in Durban killing 3 women & injuring 69 people.
    1990 Convicted for the Durban bombing and placed on death row for murder.
    1992 granted amnesty at the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) for Durban bombing.


    *1997 Portugal refused to accept him as a South African ambassador.
    *1998 was in a Mozambique jail for seven months for gun-running.
    *1999 Charged with assaulting an employee of an escort agency in the company of underworld figure Cyril Beeka.
    *2003 appointed Chief of the Metro Police of Ekurhuleni Municipality.
    *2006 was involved in a drinking and driving incident after a Christmas party in Centurion. McBride was charged with drunken driving, fraud and defeating the ends of justice following the car accident.
    *2007 Fired as the Ekurhuleni metro police chief.
    *2011 found guilty and sentenced to a five-year prison term for drunken driving & defeating the ends of justice.
    *2013 Verdict and sentence for drunken driving overturned on appeal.
    *2013 Nominated as executive director of police watchdog body, the Independent Police Investigative Directorate (IPID).
    *2014 Appointed as head of the IPID.

  3. #13

    Some people have the ability to sum things up in a way you wish you could. This quote came from Ken Peters, Professor of Economics in the Czech Republic.

    "The danger to South Africa is not Jacob Zuma, but a citizenry capable of entrusting a man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of a Zuma presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate, willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Zuma, who is a mere symptom of what ails South Africa. Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Jacob Zuma who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who made him their President."

  4. #14
    Dit lyk my nou dat ek hier ook gelees het, die draad het klaar gedraai ha ha ha.

  5. #15

    Dead Baboon

    A priest is driving down the Constantia road in Cape Town when he comes
    across a baboon lying dead in the road.
    He contacts the Cape Town police to inform them of his find.
    A cocky black desk sergeant laughed and said: "Did you give it the last

    "No" said the priest "I thought I'd inform his next of kin first".

  6. #16
    Ek hoor daar is nuwe rugby kwotas vir 2014.

    Die Cheetas moet blykbaar nou vyf spelers insluit wat Engels kan praat en die Sharks moet vyf spelers insluit wat Afrikaans kan praat. Die Blou Bulle moet nou vyf spelers insluit wat rugby kan speel...

  7. #17
    En WP moet met sy B span speel om die ander n regverdige kans te gee.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    En WP moet met sy B span speel om die ander n regverdige kans te gee.
    Ja, veral vir Boland.. Hahahaha..


  9. #19

  10. #20
    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.

    She descended a bit more and shouted: 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am..'

    The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees south latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'

    'You must be an Engineer,' said the balloonist.
    'I am,' replied the man, 'how did you know?'
    'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip by your talk.'

    The man below responded, 'You must be an ANC MP.'
    'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'but how did you know?'

    'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's all my fault . .

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